a clean heart

 for some months now I've been seeking God asking him to create in me a clean heart. this sudden decision happened one day while i was cleaning my house i was playing music and the right song at the right moment came on it spoke to me in that moment and has hands down become one of my favorite songs, i know your probably wondering what is the song. that i will tell you in just a moment i want to take some space on this page to thank God for hearing my cry out for him in my secret place. the song that moved me to have god create in me a clean heart. tamala mann change me. the song spoke volumes to me at a time when i felt like i had corrupted my heart with all the wretched things i had done. reflecting on a time when i lived my life very much so in the world. i tell god my father how could i ever repay you for rescuing me from the dark places that i was once in. In during my break through moment I quieted myself to hear God. I asked him to use me as a vessel to say what needed to be Said. Because half the time I have to ask the Holy spirit to pray through me so I put myself aside and in those moments I ask God to take over my prayers and help me to pray because even sometimes I do not know what to pray for because I do not go to God in prayer like he’s a genie granting wishes, I truly want the Holy Spirit to take hold of my prayers. I’m so grateful to God for never leaving me. I used to have a real narrow view of God, I wanted so desperately to know him so i started seeking him allowing my prayers to be spirit led it brought me to a place of honesty with god. I need you lord. I can’t do life without you. Help me to change my heart o God. Here’s some lyrics to the song that really helped me, she goes on to sing if you let him, he can change you. Which is true. Another one of my favorite songs is potter but that is a whole other post. I continued on asking god to to mold me and shape me into who he created me to be continuously asking him to change all the parts of me that are not like him. Recently ive been watching the praise dancers at my church because I remember a time when I loved to dance but stopped because I felt like I couldn’t move the same but I’ve been watching them and trying the moves at home. This journey of mine has been a roller coaster the enemy didn’t want me to do this he tried everything to keep me down but I kept on even in my struggle even during my worst moments my low times I had to fix my focus on what was going on around me. See the enemy wouldn’t have tried to take me out the game as many times as he tried to if there wasn’t something on the inside of me that would benefit the kingdom of heaven because I surrendered myself to go so I do not do for personal gain this season of my life is for God. The attack was great but my god is greater. And stronger.